It Gets Better Project

i came across this project online, it's called  'It Gets Better Project' this project came about cause of the recent suicide stories of LGBT kids due to being bullied and harassed, this project originated from U.S but it became a worldwide phenomenon in a few months.

I've been watching a lot of the videos posted on it's website today, and it really inspired me, it taught me a lot of things that i needed to know. honestly, i've always been bullied in my primary school on the way i act and such, and it really really annoys me, i felt really helpless. when i came to secondary school, i remember when i was in form 1, and i was still being bullied in class but as time passed, it got better. my secondary school life were much better than my primary school life cause there were no more bullies. i guess this is the exceptionally best part of being in SMK Sri Permata, i think the people there are much nicer and understanding. Imagine if i'd really transferred to another school, that shall stay unnamed. i think i would continue to have a freaking miserable life there, it's the culture there. i have a gay friend that studied in that school, but you know he doesn't exactly step out of the closet cause the culture and students there would destroy him. i'm not saying that i'm out of the closet too, but i'm halfway there i guess. and seriously, i feel really really happy that i have people in this school that understands, i don't really have a problem telling my school mates that i'm gay, they kinda just accept it. certainly, there are exceptional cases as well but i shall not go to that.

from 'it gets better project', i learned that it gets better. for now, i feel like lonely at times, when it comes to gay stuff, like you hope to have a mentor there to guide you through life, i got no one to go to. i mean, i know my friends are there, but they're not gay. okay, i still have fun talking about guys and all with them, but sometimes, you still cant help but feel like you're still alone. but whatever it is, as time past, i really believe it gets better, to have someone you love to be with you, to have a future. frankly speaking, i've thought of just ending my life before, just take a blade and slice my wrist, or just burn charcoal in my room, but what difference would that make, i know that by doing this, it would crush my parent's heart. and i do wanna tell my parents, and i know that they will accept it if they really loved me (i'm counting on that), but it still frightens me, from the videos i've watched, i learn that come out to them when you're really ready. and i know, i'm not ready to do that now. 

and something i realised, what makes LGBT people different? seriously, did you ever thought about that. like what makes me different from all the millions and billions of people out there? the only difference would be the person i choose to sleep with in the future, i guess. other than that, i'm just as normal as you are, merely a human being that roams the face of planet earth. so don't bully people for they are LGBT, get to really know them. i feel guilty, in my class everyone thinks that 'this girl' is a lesbian, well, honestly i have no idea if she is or not, and they are isolating her, and i feel really really helpless that i cant do anything. honestly, i know i'm just lying to myself, i could if i wanted to, i did try to tell them that they're being mean, but other than that, i didn't do much. and seriously, like really! it's not wrong to be yourself! like me, i just really don't give a damn about what people think anymore, i'm not that primary school casey that is so afraid to be who he is, the new and improved casey is much better than that. so if you're an asshole, if you wanna continue to be an asshole, just stay away from me then. don't discriminate LGBT. if you gave me another choice to make between being straight and being gay, i would still choose to be gay, i mean thats who i really am, thats all the fun part in my life, although it's tough, but i'm not about to just give it up. and thats all i have to say for tonight.