Love Yourself

Dear Casey,

This is a note to yourself: you are strong, you will be okay. No matter how bleak the whole situation may seem, you will get through this and come out stronger than ever. You have great friends and family around that care and support you very much, they are gonna be there to pick you up when you come crashing down. Have faith and believe in that, believe in yourself.

Everyone has been telling you things that you already know, you know that you need to learn to love yourself, you need to learn to put yourself first and work on yourself and not just pour everything in your relationship, relationships ain't everything. You always turn to relationships to keep you safe and secure, you always look to relationships as the beacon of hope in your life, you depend on them to be there for you, you depend on them to help you with your troubles. It's time you learn to focus on yourself and to deal with your own troubles or else you'll never grow. You always think you are more mature than people your age but in fact, you are not, you tend to shy away from your trouble, you always hide behind someone else in hope that they will help you solve your problems. This in turns destroys your relationship as you are too dependent on someone else for your happiness and security. The same cycle repeats in every relationship, you'll end up in the same predicament over and over again unless you actually learn from your past and do something about it.

It's okay to put yourself first, it's okay to love yourself,  you are important and it's okay to be selfish. Work on yourself, it's about you, it's always been about you. Don't belittle yourself just to accommodate others in your life, don't depreciate your self-worth. You are so afraid of being left behind and having people walk out your life, that you claw onto them and beg them desperately to stay, compromising on your values and putting yourself down over and over for a temporary fix. Learn to value yourself highly, and believe that people should want to be in your life for the person that you are and not the person they wish for you to be.

It's not wrong to be in a relationship, you are not selfish for wanting both, you can have both but just don't compromise blindly for the sake of a relationship. You've tried your best to save this relationship, you did, you really did, you need to accept that you've done everything in your power but if at the end of the day, if he is not willing to carry on, there's nothing you can do, it's beyond you. You can only accept it and move on. It's not your fault, there's no rights and wrongs and there's no reason to blame yourself for it.

Only when you learn to love yourself that you will be capable of loving someone else. This is gonna be a slow, long and hard journey. You will suffer, you will feel pain, you will struggle, you will wanna give up. But remember at the end of every tunnel, there will always be light. You will get there eventually, have faith and believe.

Love,
Casey