being in a relationship with someone else is something i've kinda always wanted, and now it did, but i didnt expect it to happen, i didnt expect myself to really be in a relationship with someone else. not that i'm complaining or anything, it's just that i cant believe this is real. i've always been the sucky lovey dovey type, i've always had this "ideal relationship" playing in my head such as boyfriend pick up after work, head over to his place, he cooks dinner, spend the night at his place. the ironic part of that is.. it's actually happening. it's no longer a fantasy, it's now reality.
i enjoy spending time with him, but the problem is i dont wanna be too clingy with him. i've done that before, it doesnt end well, thats for one, and the other reason is because it's like being someone else. i want me to be the rational self rather than the love stuck clingy casey. he keeps telling me he doesnt mind me being clingy, in fact he likes me being clingy but i really dont wanna be that casey. but now, i just feel so love stuck. i used to be emotional because i want to be with that special someone, but now it's still i want to be with that special someone just that it's in a different way. ahhh~ the irony of everything..
it's hard to tell if a relationship will go or not, but i hope this one does. he keeps saying it's my first relationship and i'm just exploring and such. yes, that may be true, it's my first relationship but i feel like he's everything i wanted. but in the end, nothing is certain, we'll see how it goes.
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