i ≠ us

until recently, i thought my life is finally on a new path but now, i feel like it's slipping back to the past, it's more like i'm slipping back to the past. i really dunno what is up with me, sometimes my mood is just terrible and moody, especially around certain people la, it's not that i dont wanna be in a good mood and join the fun and all, it's i cant, i cant make myself do so.. okay maybe i do know why, i think i have this auto machanism where i shut off when i have this feeling that i dont fit in, i'll just pull back and wanna be left alone. okay, technically, i think most of us do that.. but it's more frequent to me now, i do that almost every morning, and give out the dont come near me "aura".. and i get pissed off easily, every little thing that people do, their action that i dont like, i just feel pissed and feel like just walking away and go home but the problem is, i dont wanna show the bad side all the time.. i've been trying to avoid them a bit recently, i dunno what they feel about the way i act, i myself feels so confused.. why isnt there like this bubble that we can just be alone, away from the world for just a while, some time to kick start again. i miss hanging out with my good old friends, laughing, talking, have fun and be me, and not someone that i need to pretend to be and show the others. i miss you guys, the ones on the same side of the world and the ones on the other.. why cant we rewind time, and just go back to those moments that meant so much to us..