17th April 2009

okay, so sports day is over for 3 days now. on 17 april 2009, it was the day of our life, okay not life life but still.. it was a really important day to us or to me, it really meant a lot to me, and so the day starts. we came to school early in the morning, did some last minute practices, found out that a few people cant make it cause they're having high fever. and it kinda broke my heart, like we trained so hard and end up some people cant show up. anyway, after that we took attendence and went to basketball court.. waiting for everything to start. after it started, we marched out and did our formation and all.. and after that, had to stood there for some time. i watched while the other uniform bodies and houses did their formation, some were quite okay.. i'll give them that, KRS was quite okay.. anyway, thats not my point.. so moving on, after everything was done, we marched back to the basketball court. After that went to duty, sorry to say, i blew the whole duty, and i'm really sorry about that.. okay, continue moving on, after a few hours, when everything is coming to an end, we went to do the pagar thing at tapak perhimpunan. then we had stand around the students like a pagar while they go take their medals and all. i wasnt feeling really well cause i haven eaten anything since i woke up, feeling wobbly and had to tahan a bit la.. then here comes the part where we all have been waiting for, the part where they annouce who won the perbarisan. then jeng jeng, police got 2nd.. then here come the 1st, i was wishing so hard that we would have won, like seriously.. i was mumbling st. john st. john. then the mc said KRS~! then i was like.. OH! SHIT! i think everyones mood dropped to the very bottom. then yvonne came, she was crying.. then i was like.. i dunno what to say, i cant really feel much.. not as much as some of the members. then we went to basketball court and we kinda talked about it and all. i still didnt get the full hit of the effect. then after that, went to help teacher out with moving tables in the hall, and went home after that. i had to had to pack up my stuff to go over to my mom's place ( long story, dont ask) anyway, went there, nothing much to do there.. so i kinda had a lot of time to think, which isnt a good thing at all.. the more i think about sports day the more upset i got, like seriously.. we worked really really hard this year, trained for 2 weeks, almost every single day.. like all our efforts gone to waste.. okay, there are some goods that came from the trainings, we gain something and lost something.. then on sunday, i got home, feeling better.. then on monday, aka today, went to school in the morning and theres the weekly monday assembly. and suddenly, they said they like miss out something about the results of the perbarisan for the uniform bodies. then i was like wishing they made mistakes with the scores and all.. but see see, they're gonna annouce the 3rd place, then i was hoping it would be st. john, like we dont get 1st and 2nd at least we get a 3rd. but to all my expectation, the name BSMM come out.. and i was like.. speechless.. i really dunno what happened this year, we were that bad? then i was really in a bad mood in class today, the more i think about it the more moody i got. like seriously, we're trashed by BSMM? then got better as time passes. anyway, we found out the reason why we lost after school.. in someway, it's like the whole burden was let go, the heavy rock was gone, i just felt so much better.. like sooo much.. after so many days wondering why we lost, what could have happened.. and end up we found out that mainly, its just a slide miscalculation on some issues. as in, its wasnt really out fault.. like its not that our formation suck so bad that we could win.

oh, and you know what.. it's a stupid question to ask why st. john didnt win? (certain people asked me this question during class) it like, how would i know and i myseld would like to know too.. and it really stings when someone ask us why we lose, i had to put up the i'm okay and i dunno face.. how would you feel when someone asked you why you lose a certain competition that is really important to you.. how would you feel.. happy? excited? or depress? and hurted? i believe its not that hard to answer this question..

okay anyway, to all of you people out there.. dont come asking why we lost.. and more importantly, dont come and bitch us about you winning something.. it kinda happen to me as well, someone bitched me today.. if you win, then okay you win, you dont need to remind me all the time.. i need to put up a i'm okay with it face.. i really dont want to do that, its so damn fake.. and dont try to bitch any of the st. john members..